Eric Umansky

Mac in Town

Here's a story I wrote for Wired about our how Macs got stolen in Damascus--and then magically reappeared. 

Joey, Monica, and Ahmed

I'm a member of the "Syria" Network on Facebook. Which basically means every once in a while, I get little notices about what other members of the Syria Network are up to. The latest one:

Top TV in the Syria network.
1.Friends
2.Lost
3.Prison Break
4.Scrubs
5.Heroes

You know what, all things considered, those are some pretty good choices.

Winter in Damascus

There are many more important things to write about but....look, snow!

 

P.S. No, I don't live there anymore. But I do surf the Web.

Arrada!!!

A few weeks ago, when the finacee and I were still living in Damascus, we walked out of our door one night and came across a wedding party. And I mean party. There were guys swings knives, others blowing fire and one singer doing a very catchy call-and-response thing. So catchy in fact that much to Sara's chagrin, I've spent the past month whistling the guy's tune.

As I later learned, the call-and-response song is  an old Damascene tradition called Arrada. And it's on YouTube. Enjoy!

Terrorist Watch List Follies, Park MCMIV

The day before we left Damascus, Sara and I visited an antique shop by owned by one of Damascus' very few remaining Jews. His name is Salim and he's  a sweet guy. We first spoke in September when he invited Sara and I to Rosh Hashanah  services at  Damascus's only remaining synagogue.

Anyway, at the store,  Salim and  I got to  chatting about how, despite the fact that most of his family lives in Brooklyn, he's recently had trouble getting a visa to the U.S. 

Why, I asked.

"I found out it's my name," said Salim. "It is close to some terrorist's."

So, I asked Saleem what his last name is.

"Hamdani."

Salim Hamdani. That is indeed darn close to Salim Ahmed Hamdan, an alleged member of al-Qaeda and former bodyguard for Osama Bin Laden.

Now one would hope that the government has the tools to differentiate between an alleged member of AQ  and a nice Jewish boy  who  sells antiques.

But even if it can't tell the difference, that shouldn't much of mattered. After all, Salim Ahmed Hamdan probably isn't going to be heading through JFK anytime soon. He's been detained at Guantanamo Bay for the past five years.

P.S. Salim is a world traveler and a wealthy guy. His store has at least a few hundred thousand dollars worth of merchandise and his English is flawless.  He's just the kind of person the U.S. would  benefit from. And given that most of his family lives in Brooklyn, you think he'd want U.S. citizenship. But Salim told me he just spent the last year--and plenty of money on lawyers--securing citizenship to the U.K.

Why not the U.S., I asked.

"Echhh," Salim said. "It's too much trouble there. Too much hassle."

LOST in Syria

Sara and I just got back to the land the Sushi and Soy Lattes. We also had a final, surreal, road-trip. I wrote a blog post about it right before we left--the dateline, man, the dateline!--but then the Internet broke at the cafe I was at and the post disappeared. So here I go again.

With our friend Rasha, we headed to a monastery near Homs.

It's called "El Ard" --The Land--and  felt a whole lot less a the monastery than a kibbitu commune. There were no prayers. Just a lot of hanging out. People calling each other "Mami" and "Papi." And in the morning: yoga.  (The fiancee points out that th

e yoga wasn't exactly  up-to-code. It involved a lot of waving our hands around--"shaking it out" if you will.  But, you know, points for location.) 

 

We then made our way to Krak des Chevaliers, a massive Crusader castle in the hills near Homs

We wanted to stay the night at the  supposedly cute nearby town of Safita. (Warning: The photos from that link are cute--the sound isn't.)

Judging by the map, Safita looked to be close to the castle. It wasn't. After driving for about 1/2 an hour, we came across a big 200-room hotel. Though the lobby wasn't heated, and the toilets in the restaurant  there  didn't  flush, the rooms were toasty and the sheets fluffy.  So we dropped off our stuff and headed back out in search of Safita.

Sara, Rasha, and I drove another  hour on some of Syria's finest twisty  scary roads, and we  never found the town. Instead, we ate at a roadside place and then got  really  lost.  As in "I think we're going to have to sleep in the car" lost. Nobody we asked had even heard of the hotel.

Finally, we came across a friendly shopowner who had some advice.

"Go to the town of Bereem," he suggested. "You'll see a mukhabarat [secret police] outpost. Ask them."

Err.... so, we drove on. And we got that advice twice more. "You need to talk to the mukhabarat. They'll help  you."

We eventualy entered the town of Bereem, and noticed two guys standing in the street with AK-47s and kaffiyahs wrapped around their faces. Finally, the Bereem Tourist Information Center!

"Where are going," asked Mr. Red Kaffiyah.

"To the El-Kheir Hotel. But we can't find it!" explained  Rasha (who is Syrian-American and speaks fluent Arabic).

"OK. And who is with you in the car?" asked Mr. RK.

"Ah, two foreigners?"

"From where?"

"Eh, America"

"Can I see their passports?"

"Actually, we left them in the hotel, which we can't find!"

"You know, usually when we meet foreigners we like to invite them in to get to know them."

[Gulp.]

"Of course, you must!" replied Red Coat Rasha.

"And you, can I see your ID?"

"Actually, I left that at the hotel too!"

"OK," replied the mukhabarat man. Then he turned to me. "What's your name?" he asked.

"I'm Eric. And this is my wife Sara. We're lost!"

I can only imagine him considering the situation. "So I have two Americans, without their passports, in a car with a Syrian without her ID card, all supposedly staying at hotel who's phone number they don't even remember.  But on  the other hand, the man did tell me his first name."

"OK," he decided. "Allha u Sahla. Welcome! I think you go down this road."

Twenty minutes later, straight down that road,  we arrived.

Word of the Day

A few days ago, I was walking in our neighborhood* and  saw a woman strutting down the street with lycra white tights,  knee-high boots, a low-cut shirt and.... a hijab.

That night, I mentioned the look to some friends at dinner. "Oh yeah," replied L., herself Muslim, observant, and style-y. "She's a ho-jabi." As in, L. then explained, "Women who wear the hijab and dress all ho-ey." 

Sure enough there are more than a few links to the term--including an entry on the ever handy  Urban Dictionary.

And just to be clear, we're not talking about actual prostitutes. Just women who dress a little racy--and keep their heads covered.

 

* Our neighborhood is kinda sorta like the Chelsea of Damascus. Lots of hip  people,  and lots of tight clothing, often worn by men (though they tend to be a slightly different demographic than in Chelsea). I've been meaning to get some photos of and video and create a virtual tour for the blog.  But slightly hard to do since...our camera was swiped. 

Great Moments in Fear-Mongering

As I mentioned before, our apartment was broken into last month and our computers stolen. Then, we got our computers back. (It's a long story that involves some very dumb thieves  and very menschy Syrians.) Anyway, we told the U.S. embassy about it. And after hearing about another American's house robbed here in Damascus, the embassy put out an email warning about the mini-crime wave  Nothing really special about the warning; it was a kind of McGruff  "take a bite out of crime"  message:

"If criminals see that your residential security infrastructure is solid and well-maintained, and that your family consistently engages in good security practices, they may move on to a 'softer' target."

But it's good to know the wacky wingers at the "World Tribune"  have the creativity to take something like that and to spin into: "Homes of Americans in Syria Reported Under Surveillance."

Arabic and the NBA

Being a basketball fan has brought me much pleasure in life. But who knew it would help  with my Arabic.

"Generous" is kareem, as in...

 

and...

and "wise" is hakeem, as in....

If you want to learn Arabic, you too should follow the NBA. It’s fan-tastic!

Viewing Annapolis From Here

Just in case you were curious what's being written about Annapolis from this neighborhood, here's a sampling of editorials and op-eds from the ever-trusty Syria Times.

"Peace Or Illusions!":

Syria`s participation in the world gathering is to test the seriousness of the US Administration towards peace-making in the region and to ascertain that Israel has never worked for a just and comprehensive peace and is not apt to achieve this pressing end.

"An Unattainable Dream!" :

The Arab people in Syria and other countries in the Arab homeland are not so optimistic about the conference and they don`t pin much hope on the gathering.

The Syrian attitude has always been clear and fair. Syria has repeatedly asked for the resumption of peace talks on this track starting from the point the two sides reached at the Wyeplantation talks where the Israelis deposited the aforementioned pledge with the Clinton administration. It is illogical and unfair to begin from scratch. 

‏Suspicious Meeting:

Annapolis meeting is suspicious as it apparently intends among other things to separate the Palestinian, Lebanese and Syrian peace tracks, validate Israel`s occupation of the Arab territories, force some Arabs to normalize ties with Israel before peace is attained, by-pass core issues of the long-standing Arab-Israeli conflict and torpedo basic peace obligations as termed in UN resolutions and the internationally-approved "land for peace" principle. ‏

The meeting also intends to further divide the Arabs, bring more chaos, foment sedition and subsequently impose US-Israeli hegemony on the entire Arab region.

That last--particularly full-throated, editorial appeared before Syria decided to attend the meeting. Anyway,  I have no larger point in running these snippets. Just giving a view of what's being printed around these parts.